letters to lyza

Lyza 4 years old

Dear Lyza:

I have decided to try something new...start a new tradition. And as always, little one, you are my Guinea pig, my first attempt at this entire parent thing. So here we go on another test run of a tradition I have named Letters to Lyza.

Four years ago today I was scared. I didn't know what the future held for me. The only thing I knew was that I was about to become a mother. I was about to be changed forever.

"Mother" is a title that once you receive it, you carry it with you for the rest of your life. You are never "not a mother." You never stop caring or loving your children. This word "mother" comes to define you. Not in a bad way. Not in the way that you aren't still an individual with talents and goals. Actually, no I take that back, once you are a mother you stop becoming an individual in the selfish sense of the word. Yes, you still have your own desires. You want time for yourself and to harvest your talents and ambitions. But ever since April 30th, 2005 at 7:33 pm, I have ceased to look at myself as an individual. I am more of a package deal. I am a mother. Lyza you made me a mother.

It has been 4 years. Four years of being in awe of you. Four years of trying some parenting techniques that worked and some that didn't quite go the way we planned. Four years of being the proudest parents. Proud of you and your brother.

This last year your dad and I have seen you really come into your own. You became a big sister this year and have thrown yourself into the role perfectly. Seth idolizes you and always wants to be with you. You protect him already and I love that. Dad and I always talk about how you were designed to be the oldest child. You are naturally a take charge kind of girl. You watch over things and love to understand the "rules." You like to follow the "rules" for the most part but you have your moments of rebellion.

I see a lot of myself in you. Not in your physical appearance (it is obvious that you look like your dad) but in your personality and your strong will. I am not sure if you will love that you are like me, or resent the fact? Either way I see our similarities. I also see your dad in you. His love for life and for people. You have a kind heart just like he does. I am so glad for that Lyza.

This past year has brought some great highlights from you. Some of my favorite have been:

• You started preschool. You excelled immediately. You loved to go and see your friends. You took a particular fancy to a pair of blonde headed twin boys named Brock and Clark. They loved your blonde hair too. You learned to read this year. You were so proud of yourself.
  
  
• The size of our family increased by 4 imaginary siblings (Jack, Cody, Ainsa, and Hannah) and an imaginary dog named Purdi. Dad and I thought these imaginary friends would be with us for a day or two. But here we are 6 months and running and they are still a vibrant part of our family. However, Jack is definitely your favorite and is our constant companion.
  
  
• The sounds of singing and dancing filled the air in our house every day. I love how much you love music. Every time we would get into the car to go somewhere you would always ask me, "Mom, did you remember the ipod?" You wanted to hear your songs and sing while we were driving.
  
  
• Your favorite movie this year has been Annie. Lyza, we have literally watched it 100 times. You don't ever get sick of it.
  
  
• Your favorite foods have been peanut butter and honey sandwiches, grapes, and bean and cheese burritos.
  
  
• You danced in 4 dance concerts this year. During each one you performed so well. You never get scared to be in front of people. You actually quite like it.
  

I could go on and on about you. A mother could never get tired of writing about one of her children. The thing that dad and I want you to know and never forget is that we are proud of you and we love you. Sure there were moments this last year that tested our patience. You are a strong willed, independent person. You know what your want and you don't back down. That is what makes you Lyza.

So in this first Letter to Lyza I want to thank you. Thank you for making me a mother Lyza. Thank you for testing me. Thank you for being so important to me, that I get down on my knees every night and plead with Heavenly Father that I will do it right. Thank you for these 4 years.

Happy 4th Birthday Ly Ly!

Love you MORE, MORE!

Mom